Just a Game

12 Nov

It’s like life is just a game to him – only to be won or lost. To me, life is about the experiences and relationships along the way . . . but for him, it is about enjoying the spoils of victory, won fairly or not. And right now, he’s not winning.

This week has been a roller-coaster (again. that’s the way abusers do it). After not talking with him at.all. for 2 weeks, we skyped this weekend. It was actually really nice. Sure, he yelled at his parents so they left the room “because he wanted to skype with his family” and they eavesdrop, you see, but the conversation itself went well. He acknowledged a lot of his shortcomings and talked about how he’s doing yoga and meditation. But always, there was an undertone of me fixing his problems for him. Which I won’t do.

After a long conversation (both with me and talking with N), he facebooked me a smiley face. To which I told him “thank you for the conversation, but this changes nothing – we are still getting divorced.” I said I’d like to have a good relationship with him, but the damage cannot be undone.

So today, in response, more insults that actually ended with him cursing me (like in the witch with a spell cast over me way).

One conversation of civility and this is what I get in return.

Yesterday, I actually missed him a bit and today he perfectly reminded me why we are apart.

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